I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize