making cat noises will not fix the situation.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
