i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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