Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
please come you make the beer taste better
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
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