My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
