It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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