I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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