I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
