Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
