I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
