i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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