I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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