i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
