my sisters under your porch take her home
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Enjoy the penises
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
