Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
