you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
