If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
