Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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