I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
