I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
North Korea, Best Korea!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
