marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
