He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The air was thick with penises
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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