Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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