Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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