Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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