im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
