I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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