dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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