but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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