I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
