Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
