After last night, I could never be a politician.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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