addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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