it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We are two peas in an std pod
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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