Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize