I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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