omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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