"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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