real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize