So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
