Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize