I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
