I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
