If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
