I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
