Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
