i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
