Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
