I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
