You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
