i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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