she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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