When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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