somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
