I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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