He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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