Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
