i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
