P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
