im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
