this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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