I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
