small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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